Over the course of the past year, or really the past four years, I have spent a lot of time, on my own and through talking with others, collecting and recollecting what I think and believe about religion, beliefs, and God/Christ/"I am a christian". Although no one knew that I was changing how I thought, I have been taking the time to figure out what I believe and how I see the world. The first thing I have come to conclude is that there is never going to be definite answers on the majority of the ideas and theology we search for answers and meanings to aspects of life. We are a finite people with finite minds seeking answers on the infinite and the abstract. There are things that we believe that will never seem to make sense. Seek, desire to find the answers, but in the end don't be disappointed when you find out you will never know this side of heaven. There is such a vast expanse out there, limitless in its bounds, defined by no one but God, the only one who is unbound to time.
Even just seeing a picture like this makes me ask questions and know that I will never know but seek to find out all that I can know while I'm here and have time.
I can say that even though I will never see Him, I do believe there is a God and that He did create the universe. I don't understand any other way for the world to have come into existence. We all know that matter does not create itself: it remains constant whether or not we see it, it may change forms but there is still always the same amount of matter in the universe. So then the world had to come from somewhere but it did not just simply make itself from nothing. Thus, something had to make it and the only way I can explain it is God. Someone made the universe, a higher power that existed before time, created time, and created the world. If you want to read more about the whole matter does not create itself nor is destroyed, go to this link:
http://dbhs.wvusd.k12.ca.us/webdocs/Thermochem/Law-Cons-Mass-Energy.html
Anyway, I also believe in Christ and I do believe that He died and rose again to bring salvation to humanity because we are imperfect people in need of a relationship with a perfect God. The only way God fixed that problem was through His Son.
But when it just plain gets down to it, I think that over time, people have changed what being a Christian means. I think we have taken a good thing: a relationship with God built through prayer, reading scripture, really living your life out based on what you believe and it has become a checklist of do's and don'ts that you must achieve or avoid in order to be a "christian". Where do we get that you have to go to church every sunday to be a believer? And where on earth does it say "read your Bible every day or you're not a Christian"? What about the fact that if you don't see it exactly the way someone else does? The Bible says what it has to say and then when you read it it may hold meaning or you may not understand a word you just read. But when does everyone ALWAYS interpret or get the same thing out of the exact same scriptures? Sure there are a few scriptures that people can agree on and that it says the same thing to them, but honestly, we have the bible, God's word, and then everything else ever said about it is someone's opinion based off of how they read it and how they see what the Bible is saying.
Beliefs are what people use that guide them in life. It is a lifestyle that shows itself on a daily basis. I know plenty of people who say they are Christians, read their bible daily, and pray daily but then the moment they are done talking about it, their life contradicts everything they ever say. I'm not saying they make a mistake, apologize, and avoid the same mistake. We're imperfect people, even those who live by what they say will slip up. But they consistently choose to do the opposite of what they say they believe and think ought to be lived out on a daily basis. It's as if they were in the picture below and decide "Ah, I'm just going to talk like I'm taking the unbeaten path, but really I'm going to take the same one everybody else does."
Then you have those who judge you because you don't believe exactly the same way they do. I'm not saying there is necessarily anything wrong with what they believe, but they don't understand that just because you don't see eye to eye with them on how you view the Bible, church, and many other religious thoughts doesn't mean that you are condemning yourself to hell. I'm glad they understand what they believe, and it isn't that you will never see it that way one day either. It's just that at this point in time, they do not see it in the same way as you, so be comfortable with talking about those differences and why you see it that way. Don't talk down to them because people see it differently. Don't start leaning in a corner or curling into a ball with your eyes closed praying for the heathen you are talking to. Look at us as individuals with a right to a difference in opinion and learn from those differences rather than allowing them to split you apart.
I know this way over generalizes and it doesn't even cover all that people could say and do. I've probably even mingled chaos into this whole blog through the confusion of the way I type out my thoughts. I guess I'm just coming to grips with the fact that I don't see eye to eye with everything that I was raised up in. I am glad that my parents firmly believe the way they do and that they wanted me to have that structure. But the more I grow and search and learn, the more I see things differently. I still believe the basics of everything I was taught. But I believe my faith is becoming stronger because I have searched out what I know, thought about what I do and don't know, and come to a conclusion...or really a place right now that I know I whole heartedly believe what I say I believe. I will always be learning and changing, collecting and recollecting my thoughts.
I guess the next thing I really want to know...and may never know is how can we really say the Bible is the word of God when in the 1400s two different councils got together, decided the criteria for a book being in the bible and then canonized it? What if we left vital parts out...what if we should have left parts out that are in it? It was a book put together by men and written by men. Of course, it is believed that they were inspired by God when they wrote the books that were put in, but how do we know that? Where on earth did we get that? Just because it says the scripture was inspired by God in the bible, does that really mean it is? It is just another man putting pen to paper. So how do we know? Will we ever really know?
I guess that's where embracing the unknown and enjoying the ride of searching for something that may never be spelled out comes into play.
