How to Get the Swine Flu

So I have learned one very important lesson: in this time where everyone is freaking out about swine flu, no patient uses a mask when they go to a clinic filled with hundreds of people just waiting to be contaminated. So then why are you freaking out about it, I ask? Because no one cares if they spread it!

Last Wednesday, as I stood in line waiting to get a flu swab (aka pap smear of the nose -thanks linds!) with my mask on, I watched several patients, who all appeared to have the same problem I did, walk through the clinic as though they were not contagious. HA! My body readily received the swine flu from some patient, either on Monday or Tuesday, who was just as inconsiderate. I can only imagine the infestation in that place as hundreds of people walk in and out of the clinic sneezing, coughing, and blowing their noses on everyone and everything. I'm sure if we had special lenses to detect the swine flu, you could walk into my place of employment and the words swine flu would be smeared across almost everything in the building and bobbing ominously atop most everyone's head!

No, swine flu doesn't kill most people, in fact other forms of influenza kill more people than swine flu appears to be doing at this moment, but it is sure lurking around every corner. And most people are susceptible, even if healthy, because no one has an immunity to the virus.

Needless to say, if you would like to obtain swine flu, free of charge, just walk into the Baton Rouge Clinic. I'm sure you will bump into someone there, happily giving everyone the disease because they can't suck it up and wear a mask around the clinic! It will be the longest days of ailed sleeping you will ever know in your life! And while the Tamiflu is ridding you of all your symptoms, it will knock you back on your butt because of the fatigue, nausea, and possible vomiting it is likely to induce.

It really is that easy. I work in Dermatology: usually the contagious diseases we see are rashes, yet I managed to get the swine flu.

Relationships: The Foundation of Meaning in Life

Life changes, inevitably. Choices change us, events happen that we cannot avoid, time moves forward without asking. Sometimes I wonder how well I am really using what I am given:

Relationships are the building blocks in life. Everything revolves around relationships: home, work, vacation, grocery shopping, etc. There isn't anything that does not effect the people around you. Even taking time for yourself effects those you love because you isolate yourself from them: you can destroy or build up relationships based on what you do with time by yourself. People die from a lack of influential and significant relationships. There is a lot that stands on the foundation of relationships.

I guess I began thinking about this as I was reading my bible. As I lay down, I started thinking about how while growing up, adults, who mean well, teach us multiple reasons as to why we are to read the bible. And although many of them are true, many impressionable youth are left with multiple reasons fighting for the logic of why they are to read the bible. Usually, somewhere among the plethera of reasons, the relationship with Christ bridging our relationship with God is taught, but it isn't always grasped as the sole reason for reading scripture.

I say all this because for one reason or another, growing up, I always felt I was to gain some new insight, some new meaning, some life-altering truth every time I spent time reading the bible. Every time I didn't, which seemed to make up a majority of the time, I felt I had failed somehow and God was no longer near me, I was being punished. I might not have even done anything wrong in that moment, but I was still a failure, thus I learned nothing and God could not find favor with me. Even now I still find myself feeling this way. As much as I knew in my head it wasn't true, I found lies pelting me like a cold, hard rain. They were needles driving their way into my flesh I could not rid myself of.

However, my eyes were open today, while discussing with God the way I feel about how I struggle with reading the bible because of how many times I feel as though I'm staring into an abyss. It's all about my relationship with Him. My desire to spend time with Him. Like every relationship, to grow you must spend time with one another. It will die if you don't. You may not always feel like you're getting anywhere with it. You are bound to feel like a huge wall has been dropped between you and the other person at times. Yet, all He truly wants from me is my heart and for me to take time to spend with Him, solely Him.

I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize that. I'm sure I've only heard it a jillion times from other people, too, but for some reason it didn't begin to take root until today. I'm bound to need to be told this simple truth again. I'm human and bound to fail. But His grace is bound to pull me back up and give me a second chance.

Along with this realization came the insight of how important my relationships with everyone I come in contact with are. The man who stands in front of me at the grocery store, the patients I encounter on a daily basis at work, my co-workers, everyone with whom I have contact. Do I seize all opportunities I am given? I'm sure not, but I would at least like to die knowing I tried my hardest to build meaningful relationships with everyone I am given the opportunity.

I know my thought process on this is not complete and very raw, but I had to begin to flesh it out. If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment.

Visiting My Family

I have to say my internal timing mechanism has been thrown off with this small vacation I have had. Yesterday I thought it was Saturday. Thursday I couldn't remember what day it was. Today I feel like I should be getting back home and preparing for another week.

Fortunately, I'm still quite relaxed (as relaxed as you can be with a 2-week-old baby in the home). Spending time with Lindsey and Drew and getting to meet my new born nephew, Brayden, has been great. Although I don't feel like expounding all I'm thinking on here, there are quite a few things having time off has caused to reel in my head.

As much as I don't miss the homework, having the time off during Christmas or Spring break was a nice component of school. I find it harder to make time for myself to relax in the manner I could during those times. And much of the time I don't have the ability to make that kind of time for myself. I guess vacation time, once I can use it, will come in handy. I can see myself using time to just to have off if I have an excess of time.

Anyway, I am enjoying my nephew. Not that he can do much, but I am glad I was able to see him in his early stage. He is growing quickly and the next time I see him I'm sure he will be able to hold his head up, smile, maybe giggle. All the stages of life I will miss because of being far away will be hard, but it makes these times I get to see him that much more sweet.

Will I Grasp What You Want to Teach Me?

I have SO much to ponder. SOOOO much! I really want to get away for a weekend all on my own, maybe go pitch a tent out somewhere. Then I just want to be.

be

be alone but not alone

exist

soak in water like a sponge

quiet

listen for His still, small voice

I am learning and have much to learn.

Where there is freedom, there is bondage.

Where there is love, there is pain.

Where there is sacrifice, there is new life.

Though suffering, you may have done nothing wrong.

No matter what the cause of the suffering, there is always the opportunity for healing.

What we are taught is the ending, is only the beginning.

Where there is a box to define, there are limitless definitions.

Where there are limitless definitions, there is a box to define.

Where irony abounds, the congruous adhesive of Life abound even more.

Where there is healing, there is hurt.

Though all I have just said is able to be twisted in every shape, form, and fashion, it is only understandable through one sense. And in that one sense, many senses abound.

OH THE IRONY OF IT ALL! HAHAHAHA....I am SO freed in body, mind, soul, spirit at this moment. May it continue ever more! Although I'm very new in all of what I'm experiencing, I am more than willing to share. Be forewarned it is deep and I may barely be able to form words to explain. It is all by the power of the Cross that I am seeing all my eyes are beholding.

I am learning new and glorious parts of life daily. There is so much for me to be unsure of. So much that can be debated. So much that is nothing as anyone has painted it as. Who is to say that there is one Way, but belief in the Way is not a simple matter by which simple definitions for Him are reached? I whole heartedly believe in the Way, but I cannot say that His Way is reached by a single, particular definition. I will not say it is reached by one single, particular definition.

In fact, there is so much I'm unsure of, but I am sure willing to learn. To dare. To be moved. To fight against the grain.

I am on a continual journey. I just hope I learn all from everything, everyone around me I can, as that is where He has placed me.

How much have we thought we know for sure, but it can be debated? All I know is I am but a sinner and His grace is my only hope!

It's Been a While

Wow! It's been a while since I've been able to take the time to sit and write. That makes me sad.

First of all, I haven't taken the time to write. Secondly, my computer crashed so I couldn't (and my roommates extra computer busted at the same time...HA!). Bummer. Now I have access to a comuter because my roomie was given a computer that someone had extra!

So....

Looking back I am realizing how much has happened in the past few months.

1) I have started my job as a medical assistant. I absolutely love my job! It makes me sooo sure of my desire and calling to be a nurse I'm fidgeting just to get there (and I'm sure I will complain when the homework starts to unfold on my desk). I have actually been pulled to Pediatrics for a day too and loved that! YAY! haha...I still have my days of not wanting to go to work from sheer laziness but I consider myself fortunate to find a job I love and enjoying work (for the most part).

2) My parents are going through one of the roughest times I have ever witnessed in my life. If you think about them PLEASE be praying. There is a lot of mayhem going on with the house they were building and it really hurts to watch them go through this. I know that whether or not the outcome is how we want it, God is in control and will make this all right (even if it means they have to wait until the other side of Heaven).

3) The new year has come and we're almost through 2 months of it! Crazy...I just can't believe how quickly time passes us. I wish I would catch up with that knowledge and truly live every day as though it were my last. Why can't we always take everything we know to heart? I think a lot of us would be very different if we really followed all that we know.

4) My sister, Lindsey, is 7 months pregnant!! I am extatic about being an aunt! Little Brayden Thomas March is growing healthily and is measuring larger than how far a long my sister is. Soon enough I'm going to actually be driving up there to see the new fam :) I don't think I could be any happier (ok...well I would be if they lived in the same city but that's just pulling my luck)!

5) I was able to visit with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins when they were down here. I really enjoy seeing them because we are really close with them and don't get to see them too often.

6) I have somehow managed to get TWO babies from two kingcakes (and of all the people to get it again: my second baby came out of a HUGE kingcake...I mean big enough for at least 25+ people). For all you who are not knowledgable on king cakes: the person who gets the baby, which is hidden inside the cake, must buy the next one. Go me!

That's about it...I have had some pretty hilarious stories since I've become a medical assistant but I don't feel like typing them all out right now.