Relationships are the building blocks in life. Everything revolves around relationships: home, work, vacation, grocery shopping, etc. There isn't anything that does not effect the people around you. Even taking time for yourself effects those you love because you isolate yourself from them: you can destroy or build up relationships based on what you do with time by yourself. People die from a lack of influential and significant relationships. There is a lot that stands on the foundation of relationships.
I guess I began thinking about this as I was reading my bible. As I lay down, I started thinking about how while growing up, adults, who mean well, teach us multiple reasons as to why we are to read the bible. And although many of them are true, many impressionable youth are left with multiple reasons fighting for the logic of why they are to read the bible. Usually, somewhere among the plethera of reasons, the relationship with Christ bridging our relationship with God is taught, but it isn't always grasped as the sole reason for reading scripture.
I say all this because for one reason or another, growing up, I always felt I was to gain some new insight, some new meaning, some life-altering truth every time I spent time reading the bible. Every time I didn't, which seemed to make up a majority of the time, I felt I had failed somehow and God was no longer near me, I was being punished. I might not have even done anything wrong in that moment, but I was still a failure, thus I learned nothing and God could not find favor with me. Even now I still find myself feeling this way. As much as I knew in my head it wasn't true, I found lies pelting me like a cold, hard rain. They were needles driving their way into my flesh I could not rid myself of.
However, my eyes were open today, while discussing with God the way I feel about how I struggle with reading the bible because of how many times I feel as though I'm staring into an abyss. It's all about my relationship with Him. My desire to spend time with Him. Like every relationship, to grow you must spend time with one another. It will die if you don't. You may not always feel like you're getting anywhere with it. You are bound to feel like a huge wall has been dropped between you and the other person at times. Yet, all He truly wants from me is my heart and for me to take time to spend with Him, solely Him.
I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize that. I'm sure I've only heard it a jillion times from other people, too, but for some reason it didn't begin to take root until today. I'm bound to need to be told this simple truth again. I'm human and bound to fail. But His grace is bound to pull me back up and give me a second chance.
Along with this realization came the insight of how important my relationships with everyone I come in contact with are. The man who stands in front of me at the grocery store, the patients I encounter on a daily basis at work, my co-workers, everyone with whom I have contact. Do I seize all opportunities I am given? I'm sure not, but I would at least like to die knowing I tried my hardest to build meaningful relationships with everyone I am given the opportunity.
I know my thought process on this is not complete and very raw, but I had to begin to flesh it out. If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment.
