Thoughts on Fine Wine and the Failure of Formulas

So I started reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller today and accordingly, I titled this post after the first chapter. I have to start by saying he is an extremely intriguing author. He has a dry sense of humor, which I love, and he always finds a way to say what he wants to that hits home. Great thought provoking reading.

The first chapter hones in on the formulas Christians, as a whole, have tried to mass produce for people to help set their life straight or build their marriage into a "holier" marriage or mend old relationships or date the right way etcetera. This really got me thinking on the whole age-old, time-tested formula of reading your bible daily and going to church every Sunday to listen to someone else's experience with scripture (I say it this way because I'm toying around with the idea that there is no set way to interpret scripture...maybe more on that later) and listening to all the right music and hanging out with all the right people and the list could continue to fill pages until you had set yourself to a legalistic standard that no one, except for Christ, could ever live out on earth. You know a perfect person? Then I would love to meet them and talk to them because I have yet to hear of someone who has never sinned, aside from Christ.

Anyway, I love how he talks about how Christians say it's all about a relationship with God, and yet what relationship do we treat with such a legality that there are set ways we must approach it and actions we must do in order to be interacting with one another? I don't ever show that I'm friends with someone by screaming their name loudly a set number of times before I sit down to carefully word what is going on in my life and making sure that I don't show exactly what I feel because it may be sinful. I don't set a standard amount of time that I have to hang out with that friend in order for me to say that we are friends and have a relationship whether aquaintance or best friend. Like Miller points out, we just up and pick up the phone to call and see what they are up to. I ask them if they want to chill. I spill my guts and let out my frustration (mind you there is a way to go about this the right way).

Why don't we just approach God this way? Aren't we supposed to be in a relationship with him? Why do we feel like there is only one way to approach him? Does that not set him in a box, make him out to be more like a robot than a being? And if we were created in his image, then how on earth are we supposed to maintain this computerized formula of a being who we are of likeness to? There's no way and we sit around acting as if there is only one way to experience God.

Formulas do us squat. I've personally read through some Christian self-help books, but they never do any good. Even if I implement the different steps, that might have worked for the person writing it, but my journey in life is completely different.

I guess this is where I absolutely love this quote: "Reality is like a fine wine. It will not appeal to children."

I have to admit there are times I wish we had our magic wands that we could just wish whatever we wanted into being. I think most people have wanted that at some point in time. But what we have to realize is there is no set way for any one person. You have to take what you have been given as it comes and move on to the next place in life. You have to learn to appreciate where you are even if it isn't the exact fulfillment of a dream that you have had. Strive to achieve your dreams, but when you're life takes you down a path, either away from or farther from your dreams, savor the bittersweet of the moment because that is the way life will always be.

Don't search for God in the easy-to-figure-it-out formulas. He's not there. God isn't a package you pick up from a store with directions on how to use what's inside. God is experienced when you let go of control and go with the flow of life. God is found when you allow your life to go where it was meant to (an ironic statement considering that a lot of where your life goes does depend on decisions you make; although, some of your life is determined by where you were born and who you know) and seek him out the same way you get to know your friends: talking, being real, asking questions, listening. Knowing God is allowing him to love you. What that means for every person is going to be different and it is time that we come to grips with the knowledge that telling someone how to connect with God is as pointless as it is to tell the ocean to quit making waves. Yes, there are things that have been found to help people connect with God, but this does not mean that it is a time-founded method that will work for everyone. Share your experience but don't expect someone else to have that same exact experience or to see the same side of God through the same experience you did. Quit looking for something safe and jump on for the adventure.