Oh, to Not be Surrounded by Southern Thought!

Okay, don't get me wrong. I love the people around me: namely, my family and close friends. But I get so tired of the question from people, anyone: "So when are you getting married?" Or people telling me that I should be married or am close to that age.

This isn't from random people who don't know my situation: I'm single and loving it (not that I don't jokingly [and sometimes with a real hint of wanting it because I let my lonliness get to me] suggest someone find a boy for me. it's just a joke, and I really don't even like the idea of being set up with someone). This is from people who do...or just people who think that at my age, I should either be getting or already married.

Who on earth decided that by the time you graduate from college, you should be getting married? When did that become the norm? I don't want to be married, I enjoy my single life. It's not that I don't get lonely at times or that I never have moments where I just really wish I had that special connection with someone as more than a friend.

But none of my guy friends are people I want to be with as more than friends. Very few of them do I find attractive physically, and even the ones that I do I am not attracted to their personality in a romantic way. I quite simply just enjoy the friendship I have with the ones I hang with on a normal basis and want nothing more (and even if the ones who are taken weren't, I would still feel the same way...i just simply want to be friends).

I have heard from several people, that marrying young is a mentality set in the south. WHY PEOPLE? Why on earth did you have to set this "marry young" mentality into everyone? Why is it not okay for some people to do that (because that is what some people want and are perfect for) and others to enjoy their single life until they are a bit older and finally meet the right person? I mean seriously. I hear that off in California and New York and Indiana and IDK you name it...if it's not in the south then there is rarely pressure to marry at a very young age. But down here, I know people who have looked down on people who don't marry by the age of 22 (Oh gosh, I'm going to DIE because I will not be married by my 22nd in September!).

I've been ready to up and go...and this just makes me want to go even more. The more I think about going I have this odd feeling of peace surrounding me knowing that I need to stay in Arkansas for at least one more year if not two, secure a teaching post, and then LEAVE! I'm hightailing it to Cali or Michigan or somewhere I can find a good theological seminary (because that's been in my blood for a long time and even more so currently) but I'm not going to one that is ultra conservative. They would despise my likeness being there, and I would die not being able to ask some of the questions that I want to (and YES! I do know that I will never find a set answer if there are even answers to be had. and YES! I'm perfectly OKAY with that. I LOVE asking questions that may not be answered).

And should God direct my life down a different path; if things change between now and then, I'm still leaving Arkansas. I have never wanted to stay here. I just don't want to be stuck here...there is more out there for me. I feel it. I know it. It is a part of me. It is who I am. And goodness, while I am single and can ENJOY my freedom to live exactly where I am supposed to be and worry only about where my life has been called (and yes, I do believe I have a very deep calling placed on my life [not that everyone doesn't, I'm just talking about what I know for myself]). I don't want or need to take care of someone else's life and can't take care of someone else's dreams, aspirations, hopes, struggles, pains, worries, EVERYTHING at all right now. I have too many decisions, to many unknowns, too many unpeacables (yeah I made up the word...like Dr. Seuss okay?) right now. And I don't want to add to someone else's nor do I want to take on theirs.

I just want to be me and deal with my stuff and search and love and hope and dream and follow my calling right now because that is where I am supposed to be. And right now my walk in life does not match with a guy. And I am fine with that; I'm actually very happy that my path is for me right now. So I want other people to be fine with that and quit asking me when I'm getting married (p.s. I don't have a guy so that's kind of an IMPOSSIBLE question to answer at the moment) or that I should be married (p.s if you haven't figured out by this post that I DON'T WANT to be married currently you might want to read it again) or that I'm of marrying age (p.s. I have never found a book that says "you should be married by X age", so inform me if you do because I have never heard of nor seen it).

Just let me enjoy being who I am and who I was created to be at this time.