The Searth Within Oneself Can Be Crazy

I feel so lost. So tired. At the end of my rope. I guess I'm physically worn because I'm not sleeping well. And my spirit just seems to be lost in this web of utter confusion.

I'm never able to get out of the confusion because it's like this vacuum craving to know more and understand more but never is filled.

Not to mention I'm not challenged by my job and even though I know I'm where I'm supposed to be it's getting really boring pulling files everyday. My brain was created to hold knowledge that is more dense. Not "find file # 4607800-03. check it out to DR289. place on cart to bring to doctor..." etc. on a daily basis. I know what I do is vital to the clinic...but it's just so boring.

And to top it off...I don't have an instrument I can practice on at home. Plus, it would be hard to practice at home anyway because I have roommates (well...at least I think it will be roommates soon) who I need and want to consider.

Lesson learned from all this: listen to God the first time He tells you to do something. I could be in China right now on medical missions or somewhere else as a traveling nurse or even over in Africa for a short term medical missions had I listened the first time.

Not that I don't love the people here in Baton Rouge, because I have made more friends down here who are amazing and complete blessings from God. And not that I don't like Baton Rouge, on the contrary. I would have been down here 4 years earlier! I know that it happened the way it did because of choices I made and that it wasn't bad. It just wasn't BEST.