Death Has Made Its Appointment With You...There is No Escape

Although I have not personally been faced with the loss of a person close to me, I have recently had to watch my little sister go through the loss of someone in her class at school. There is something about death that eludes me. It just isn't able to be grasped. It is depressing. It is somber. It is humbling. It is painful. And yet I still don't understand it.

It takes all the breath you have and leaves you suspended, gasping for more, hoping you will come out above what you thought might be taking your last. It isn't something anyone can wrap their minds around. One minute you have the person with you and the next you will never be able to tell them you love them. You will never be able to create another memory. You will never have another heart to heart conversation with them. No more plans with them. No more memories. No more photos. Nothing. You have what you were given and can no longer add to the ever growing list.

I think most of the time, we live like death will never come to visit us. We don't think about what kind of a legacy we want to leave, and some people don't leave a legacy because they lived as though there is no end. We don't think about how we want to be remembered when Death has finally come to take us by the hand and walk us through its door. Well, we don't live in that place. At least I know I don't.

I have spent much time thinking about how I want people to remember me, what I want them to do when I'm gone. But I don't spend every second of my day thinking about that and letting it drive me forward. Why I don't, I can't answer because I think it would probably be the wisest way to live. We are only human and thus are limited and will make mistakes. I just hope the longer I live, the more I will live this journey in a way that I am thinking about what I want to leave behind me when my time is up. I won't be here, and there will be material objects, but I want more than that to be left behind.

I want people to have been impacted by me. I want to have helped those younger than me achieve all they have the potential to be and then reach beyond that as they strive for excellence. I want those who have come in contact with me to remember me as someone who was vibrant, full of life, and brought joy into other's lives. I want them to remember me as someone who lived not for myself but for others. I know it's a lot to ask of oneself, but that really is what I want to be remembered as. I guess because I won't be here to find out if that's how I'm remembered, all I can do is live my best every day striving to be all that I was made to be: a light to others; a beacon of hope in a world full of sorrow; salt amongst the bland complacency we live amongst.